To the Apollonia to my Michael Corleone

December 12,2023

Just like Frank, I was in love. Deeply. For years. She was gorgeous and incredibly bright. But just like Aesop's fable, she was the grapes that were never meant for me.

Whether it’s a walk in the park where the wind in Auckland can blow you away or in my room where I’m silently working on my podcast, at the back of my mind, the image of her fading away for the last time is still there. Walked away like strangers, gone for eternity.

But I understand something. The pain never goes away. It just got replaced by a joy so big that when that pain is brought up again, it would still hurt but it's not as painful as before due to the facts that you has accustomed yourself with the pain and the happiness of the joyful thing you enjoy doing in life will make the pain hurt less

I took a break from social media because when you overthrow a dictator, you don’t leave their statue in the square, you tear it down.

I explored my potential during the time away, trying out many different things. Reading and diving into new materials. I have enjoyed testing my creative boundary and will definitely continue to do so.

To that image at the back of my mind, I’m not sure when I would be able to stop questioning myself about what could have been but one thing for sure that I think I have found a way to forgive myself of the mistake I have made in the past.

To all the people that have constantly been rooting for me, I appreciate you for keeping me in your thoughts. You’re the shot of espresso to get me out of bed every morning and for me to keep doing my things.

And to that special person, thanks for being my inspiration for years to fuel my inner drive to conquer Earth. You will always be the Apollonia to my Michael Corleone- a great infatuation that when it died, although inflicting heavy pains, reminds me of my calling and purpose. I wasn’t able to make you an offer that you can’t refuse, largely due to me not being in a position to do so. Maybe someday you change your mind. When that day comes or if that day comes, I’ll leave it to the man upstairs to decide. But until that day and when my loneliness is through, I’m gonna find another you.

-Se non ti rivedrò, voglio farti sapere che ti amerò sempre, sempre-